Wednesday, March 1, 2017

[Review] Collide

A movie about a completely personality-less dude who steals money, deals drugs, and crashes cars all for LOVE and because he believes in fate (aw, how romantic)...

Casey (Nicholas Hoult) and Juliette (Felicity Jones) are a couple of freewheeling Americans who hook up in a German nightclub. From there, the film dives into a neo-trash junk pile of gassed up melodrama and not-so high-octane heists.

Leading the criminal enterprise is a flamboyant Ben Kingsley, donning a thick and cartoony Eastern European accent and wielding around gold-plated pistols. When we first meet him, he's lounging amid a group of scantily clad women and watching 1985's aerobics drama Perfect (starring Jamie Lee Curtis and John Travolta). "Good film - the acting not so much," he says, as if is poking fun at himself here, but unfortunately a bit of self-reflexive hilarity doesn't save this from being a total trainwreck.

The eye-rolling schmaltz. The questionable editing. The chase sequences that somehow just drag... It's all kind of insufferable. Nicholas Hoult is painfully bland, and Felicity Jones' character is completely wasted, as she's relegated to sitting around reading letters and talking on the phone while Casey is out doing his cool crime stuff. It's frankly an odd role to see her in, especially following the prestige pic The Theory of Everything and her thrilling lead role in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

Throughout the duration, Hoult's character reiterates his devil-may-care philosophy and lifestyle, you know, because everything has already been pre-determined and stuff. So I guess the fate of Collide was always a big crash and burn.

( 3.5/10 )

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