[Review] Escobar: Paradise Lost

Depending on whom you ask, the infamous ruler & drug lord Pablo Escobar was either a ruthless criminal with the utmost power, or a larger than life Robin Hood figure. Benicio Del Toro takes on the role, and aside from his great performance, the overall product falls on the middling side.

It opens amidst Escobar's surrender to authorities, so basically during his last day as a free man.
He's in the process of setting up plans before he goes to prison, which involve putting all his accumulated wealth in the right places and giving kill orders--one of the people he gives an order to is Nick (Josh Hutcherson, most people will probably know him from The Hunger Games), who is also Escobar's niece Maria's (Claudia Traisac) boyfriend. Then, we're hit with an abrupt '3 years earlier' flashback, profiling the events that lead up to that point.

The time bounce muddles the cohesion of an already slightly unfocused story. It's a disjointed mix--part romance between Nick and Maria, part slice of life film for Escobar, which also means part gangster drama. The perspectives seem to switch. You'd think the POV would rest with Escobar, but it's all with Nick. The main problem isn't necessarily that the film flashes back in the first place--it's more-so that the events just aren't overly engaging. For a large amount of the duration, it's Nick being scared to meet the Uncle Pablo, while Maria tries to convince him that Pablo is not a bad guy. "Everything I do, I do out of love for my family," Escobar says. But this isn't really going to sway us his way or give us a new outlook on him. Fortunately, things do gradually pick up as we approach the back half of the film and it enters serviceable crime thriller mode.

Aside from its narrative falters, the film is very well-shot and solidly directed. The powerful, operatic string-driven score adds to the grandiose drama. Del Toro's fully dedicated performance is the most impressive aspect. He plays the part with immense skill and it never gets cartoony or caricature impression driven. It's subtle and nuanced, but a cold-blooded murderer boils just beneath the surface. Del Toro essentially disappears into the role. But unfortunately, he's criminally underused.

5.5/10

[Review] Ted 2

The first Ted was obnoxious, but it might've provoked a few guilty pleasure laughs depending on the type of mood you were in. Either way, it definitely didn't seem like a sequel was needed, but it made a lot of money, so here we are.

Ted and Tamy-Lynn (Jessica Barth) are newlyweds. Flash forward a year later, and they're miserable. There's a shouting match scene between the two, and you can't help but think you'd get more amusement from one of the squabbles in an old "Jersey Shore" episode. Anyway, they decide to have a baby in order to repair their relationship (which doesn't actually sound like the best idea). Mark Wahlberg mostly just hangs around as a sidekick, sounding like a listless idiot until he finds out he's going to be the sperm donor, since Ted can't... (ya' know). This comes after a failed attempt at stealing Tom Brady's sperm in what is one of the only serviceable moments of comedy. But to make matters worse, Ted finds out from the court system that he isn't deemed a human being (who ever would've guessed?), and the rest of the film involves him staking his claim as a legal person.

A misogynistic teddy bear dropping F-bombs and making dick jokes isn't really a great source of humor. And a script full of low innuendos and cricket chirp-inducing gags just doesn't cut it. It all might appeal more to 7th-graders entering puberty, but for everyone else it's eye-rolling. The cameos don't really bite--they're just kind of there. Outdated pop-culture jokes litter the screen, so in a way it feels like The Marshall Mathers LP 2 of movies. And not to delve too deep into the characterization of Ted, but there's a scene when Ted is appalled after coming across Wahlberg's internet porn collection, and it just doesn't make sense for Ted's character to react that way. If you're going to have a movie revolving around a talking teddy bear, you might as well at least be consistent.

The best thing about this sequel is that the pacing is pretty fast and Ted's CGI looks solid, so it isn't a completely excruciating sit. However, much like Seth MacFarlane's last feature-length A Million Ways to Die in the West, Ted 2 is a one-note joke that has been stretched too far.

5/10

[Review] A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence

I realize the title "A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence" reads like quite possibly one of the most pretentious, arthouse/farthouse titles of all time (verging on parody), potentially making for a dull & painstaking viewing that some people might only pretend to like or hurl the "You just don't get it!" phrase around. Well, this isn't exactly that, and it's not as self-serious as it sounds. I'm definitely not saying this Swedish absurdist comedy is for everyone. Most people will be scratching their heads. There are some bits to appreciate, but it simply isn't my cup of tea either.

Self-proclaimed to be "About human beings", A Pigeon is not really an anthology of short films as much as it's 39 very short vignettes. Episodic in nature, it waltzes from setting to setting of banal situations, mining for humor--someone failing to meet someone at a restaurant, a dude trying to avoid getting touched by his dance instructor, and strange deaths that suck the life out of the death scene in general, if that makes sense. The stubbornly static camera displays each (well-framed) stageplay-like setup. Every scene is washed with grays and beiges (some of the humans even look gray), all making for a uniformed aesthetic that matches the droll humor.

The scene changes at least keep things interesting as we try to garner something new from each one. They appear to escalate, getting stranger and more dreamlike as things go. However, it still feels very slow, and I found myself checking my watch, just wanting it to end. Roy Andersson's A Pigeon is an exercise in cryptic minimalism and the mundanity of everything. It's all part of the point, but it isn't necessarily something most people want to see on the big screen.

4.5/10

[Review] A Deadly Adoption (TV Movie)

What? Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig starring in a Lifetime movie? Is it real? A joke? A parody? Oh it's real, and it might be a joke, but it isn't a super funny one.

Robert (Ferrell) is an alcoholic author, and his wife Sarah (Wiig) is an organic foods vendor, and they're expecting their 2nd child. During a party, Sarah falls off a dock and gets injured, and there are some exaggerated sound effects that make you not sure if you should laugh or not (for the record, I laughed). Later at the hospital, Sarah and Robert learn that she's lost the baby, and they indulge in some bad crying. When the scene cuts, you can imagine them being like, "Are we really doing this right now?" Anyway, they eventually engage in the process of adopting a new child from a young pregnant woman named Bridgette that is planning to give up her baby. Robert and Sarah invite her to live with them until the baby is born, and things get expectedly fishy.

Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig mostly play it serious, and not even in a deadpan or sarcastic manner. So there aren't many hints of self-reflexive comedy or solid parody, and the initial novelty of it all fades pretty quickly. What we have here is basically what it is: Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig in a Lifetime move--almost as if they did it just so they could say they did. And to their credit, they totally nail the Lifetime performance style, which is a bit funny in itself.

The immediately terrible dialogue warrants some chuckles. But aside from a couple of amusing moments and awkward subtext, it's just too bland and monotone to become a "so bad it's good" cult classic. There's a blatant checklist of cliches, but instead of functioning as clever winks, it's just kind of like--yep here it comes. Even though the story gets ridiculous (like most Lifetime movies), you sort of wish it'd launch into straight-up absurdity and corniness.

A Deadly Adoption can't really be a cult classic if you never want to watch it again.

nah/10

[Review] Manglehorn

After David Gordon Green's big Hollywood run, he returned to his indie roots with the decent Prince Avalanche and the very good Joe. Then when word broke that his next project would involve Al Pacino, it was an exciting prospect for both of them. And while Pacino is great in Manglehorn, the film can't help but feel like a disappointment.

Manglehorn is a lonely Lock & Key store owner, despite all the people he meets day-to-day. During the writing of an eloquent letter, we learn that he's desperately missing someone named Clara, who we assume might be an ex-lover. Manglehorn also has a huge compassion for pets, especially his cat Fanny, so he becomes fairly likable right away.

It's a while before we know where this is going, and it turns out that there really isn't much of a plot. It settles into character study mode, but luckily the character is interesting, and Pacino has the charisma to carry it (it's also adorable to see him interact with a cat). However, the lack of aim still is a disadvantage as it just kind of drifts along, feeling longer than it actually is.

An admirable thing about the film is that it mostly abandons all-out bleakness, especially in a film with a character that could've potentially been an overdose of cynicism. It's not too proud to be sentimental & heartfelt, and this comes as a refreshing breath in this genre. The pretty and optimistic Explosions In The Sky-composed soundtrack lends to the heart. And as expected, Green stages the shots nicely with alluring shades of Autumn sunset colors.

This is one of Al Pacino's best later career performances. It's low-key yet still significantly emotional, proving that sometimes less can be more. If only there was more of a story to go along with it.

6.5/10